Putting Your Natural Hair to Bed

Remember a few years ago a young man by the name of J. Holiday had a hit song in which he proclaimed his affinity for putting an unnamed lady to bed? In fact, the proper lyrics to the song are:

“Wanna put my fingers through your hair. Wrap me up in your legs. And love you till your eyes roll back.  I’m trying to put you to bed, bed, bed. I’m going to put you to bed, bed, bed.”

Wait, hold up! Put your fingers through my hair? For some ladies this may be a problem. Are you letting your horror of having your man run his fingers through your hair ruin your relationship? Your being put to bed?

Well, you wouldn’t be the first. Honestly, it was probably no problem when you were relaxing your hair, or if you still have one. Speaking from personal experience, it took a while for me to put the hair bonnet or wrap on when having an overnight guest or being an overnight guest. And really why would I? When I woke up my hair was still smooth and shiney. Or at least suitable for some morning play before work. But now. Not so much. Instead of waking up looking all sleepy sexy without a hair bonnett, I’d wake up looking like a kid who played a little too hard at recess, with what I call a serious halo of fuzz going on.

For those that are rocking twisted or plaited updos, it is even worse. Don’t come to my house in search of satisfaction the day or even week after I get my hair done. Well, unless you intend to reimburse me for messing it up so that I can get it redone.

However, all that comes later! First you’ve got to get through the getting to know each other phase. You still need to ask yourself in this phase though if your potential boo feels like you are comfortable with him touching your hair. The answer should be yes. I have no problem on any given day with a man touching my hair. I know they want to. Whatever floats his boat; that’s what I say.

If you make it to the overnight visit, believe me, he does not care what your hair looks like in the morning.

Here are my top three tips for making your hair “fingers running through” friendly:

* Detangle! How embarrassing would it be if homie’s hand got stuck?

* Make sure it smells good. Men are olfactory creatures and you smelling good will get you a long way. This includes your hair.

* Be confident and encourage his love of your hair. If you don’t love your hair, why expect him to?

There are plenty of stigmas out there about men, women, and natural hair, but here is proof that you can have natural and a significant other that can’t seem to get enough of it.

Jesse Williams of Grey’s Anatomy and his fiance.


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